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...called Knowing. And I have to say, never before have I seen a movie that was so well done at the start fall apart so thoroughly at the end. Indeed, to take the criticism one step further, even as was Full Metal Jacket, Knowing was more like two movies badly pieced together.

After watching it, I felt for the first time in my life like I'd been raped with an allegory. Repeated blunt-force allegory to the junkal regions.

Review to come. It will not be pretty.

The editing room has the best version of Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull I've seen to date, right here.

A brief sample:

HARRISON FORD:
Alright folks, let’s get this show on the road. I want to make it to Country Buffet by four.

CATE BLANCHETT:
Pryvet, Harrison. I am evil Soviet. You vill help me find Moose and Squirrel, yes?

HARRISON FORD:
Holy Christ, you’re not going to talk like that the whole movie are you?

CATE BLANCHETT:
Da. You vill help locate MacKuffin now.

...and when the thing talked about Shia Lebeouf and the monkeys, I swear, I peed a little.

Kung Fu Panda by Dreamworks (Mark Osborne, John Stevenson)

overall rating: 93%, excellent
movie rewatchable: 92%, pretty darn likely
director rewatchable: 90%, very likely
recommendation: See it in the theater, take the kids. I'll probably buy this one when it hits DVD.

This flick is solid entertainment. The animation is excellent, the storyline well-paced, the plot is simple yet full, the characters believable, developed, and engaging.

Strong points: I loved the animation, particularly the stylized old-china parts, although the martial arts slow-mo and split-screen clips paid nice homage to the genre. The story itself is strong, with the messenger duck's feather providing the vehicle for the villain's escape, even as the wise old master had cautioned; and Po the Panda's finding the answer within himself, but only able to see it after he had accepted his father and his humble roots; and the master's finding the way to teach Po by considering him with unbiased eyes. Fat and out-of-shape jokes abounded, but they weren't tiresome, and were handled in a very kindly manner; and since Po's fatness turned out to be a strength, they are yet another way this story was solid and tight.

Weak points: Hardly any. Suspension of disbelief was tight as a drum, characters were as deep as they needed to be, and the story was well-executed. Maybe some of the plot progression was a little quick, but I'd have to dig very hard to come up with a good specific. The plot was formulaic... but the strength of the story carries it through easily.

The movie was a very fun ride, with some dark moments and some serious kung-fu action (probably enough to scare younger kids), but there was no actual carnage-and-death type stuff. Even so, the humor is not in-your-face juvenile; I think this is one of those few gems that will work for all ages watching. See it in the theater.

Ratatouille by Disney/Pixar, Brad Bird.

overall rating: 91%, very good, a few weaknesses
movie rewatchable: 90%, pretty darn likely
director rewatchable: 95%, extremely likely
recommendation: See it. It's not Pixar's (or Bird's) best, but it's good.

You remember Brad Bird, director for the Incredibles? It's nice to know he can downshift from supervillains conquering the world to a rat conquering the French restaurant scene.

There are so many things that are done right in this movie. The music was perfect; effective in building tension, keeping you grounded in the tres charmant Paris, and filling out the mood of various scenes, I almost want to go back and watch the thing just to hear the soundtrack again. The animation, of course, is the second-to-none we've come to expect from pixar, and the characters are drawn in a way that manages to convince you that they're real: Remy, Linguini, Colette, Skinner the chef, and Ego the food critic all have features or characteristics that help sell their characters, and although it's a trifle noticeable, it doesn't break the suspension of disbelief. Linguini in particular, stands out as the bumbling, yet lovable, sad sack who's always out of his element.

The faults aren't many, but there is one that stood out to me. When Linguini and Remy have their argument, it doesn't feel like it's been justified enough, and so the whole subsequent series of events feels a little hollow. Oddly enough, the corresponding make-up-I'm-sorry speech from Linguini feels too complete, and too understanding. If his understanding was that deep, how did he ever lapse to begin with? Didn't quite make it, in my opinion.

Anyway, its strengths are many, its faults are few. Go see this one if you're a fan of animation or Disney at all. You will not be disappointed. In fact, to describe this flick, I need to use a word that I hardly ever find myself uttering: delightful.