chessandlena.com

This broke through gmail's spam filter today, under the sender name "Joe Thomas":

我有新的電郵地址！
你現可電郵給我：
thomasjoe3313@yahoo.com.hk

- As you are aware of the activities of terrorist attacked at our airport,during our daily routine on 100% inspection of incoming and our going flights, we arrested a man with a consignment that claiming to be yourpartner, after we scan thetrunk box, we discovered the trunk box contain liquid cash in [US] Note and other documents attached to the consignmentdid not carry the suspect name, but carry your name and address as the receivers of the trunk box and this is very SUSPICIOUS.Get back to me immediately to explain your intention; before I proceed to contact my superior and your embassyfor more investigation, hope you arenot sponsoring terrorism with this fund? be very sincere to me please.Yours in service,a Office of Thomas joe,Metropolitan police chief.Heathrow Airport UK.EMAIL mrallen92@hotmail.com

...because everyone knows that all SUSPICIOUS terrorist subjects are first subject to a brutal interrogation via email. Joe Thomas (or is it Thomas Joe?), I bow to your investigative prowess.

I got what is perhaps the oddest email spam title ever:

FLUTE CASE COVERS.

okay... yeah, I got nothing.

...click here. And wait for it.

Well, the grammys are over and done with. I know everyone was burning with excitement to see if Amy Winehouse could, in fact, sweep the entire show. Unfortunately for Amy, it turns out there are fourteen thousand godzillion different grammy awards given out. Don't believe me? Here are a few samples (here is the complete list):

Not only is there a gospel performance award, but every possible gospel crossover: Rock or Rap Gospel Album, Pop/Contemporary Gospel Album, Southern, Country or Bluegrass Gospel Album, Traditional Gospel Album, and Contemporary R&B Gospel Album. Latin albums get the same treatment, having Latin Jazz, Latin Pop, Latin Rock or Alternative, Latin Urban, and Tropical Latin. Even packaging is getting a nod: Best Recording Package and Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package also grace the list. But perhaps at the top of everyone's list is Best Polka Album.

And best of all, there is a Spoken Word Album award, and a Spoken Word Album for Children award. Barack Obama won the Spoken Word award with The Audacity of Hope. He is, truly, the Anointed One of the New Democratic Party. Sorry, Amy Winehouse. Maybe if you'd tried a little harder, you'd be the democratic frontrunner.

[ed: I think Henry Rollins won Best Spoken Word for Children. He's fun that way.]

...what more can I add?

This is awesome. Just awesome.

Check out this video. Apparently, rats laugh when you tickle them.

Well, duh.

This just makes me happy.

...real life does it one better. May we present to you Dr. Richard Chopp. Well-known in the Austin area for his experience in performing vasectomies.